With this mild, damp winter our farm is becoming a heaven for slugs.
Hardly a day goes by when conversation at the farm does not turn to the multitude of slugs nibbling away at our kales and cabbages.
Luckily we have the wonderful (and locally sourced) poet, Matt Harvey, on hand to sum up our ill-feeling towards the “squishetty spoilsports" that are binging on our brassicas!
Slug
low-born land mollusc
high-impact intruder
easy oozer, slime exuder
free-loader, sprout-spoiler
meandering marauder
disrespecter
of my broad-beans’ border
you’ve a one-track mind
in a one-track body
diligent pillager
soft-horned invisigoth
slow silver scribbler
paradoxically busy sloth
tithe-taker, hole-maker
indiscriminate direct debitor
bold-as-brass brassica editor
you’re a squishetty spoilsport
a glistening drag
the liquorice all-sort
nobody wants to find in the bag
it’s time that you were brought to book
you’re not as tasty as you look
listen chum, you are disposable
look at my thumb, it is opposable
unwelcome invertebrate
this might just hurt a bit
I pluck you and chuck you
into distant dew-drenched greenery
isn’t that mean of me?
slug, when all is said and done
you can hide but you can’t run
- Written by Matt Harvey in his anthology Where Earwigs Dare 2010
Our thanks to Matt Harvey for the use of this poem.
If you have any good tips for removing slugs (harmlessly) from your vegetables, please share them on our Facebook or Twitter. We would love to hear them.
